What you say when someone is hurting can mean the difference between genuine, loving help and real harm. I think of Job in this regard. He was doing well with his colossal suffering until his self-righteous friends tried to set him straight. Their “help” just amounted to distraction, and they became like a fourth wave of his testing. Three well-intentioned but ill-advised friends brought the straw that broke the camel’s back.

How can we comfort people who are suffering? We certainly have instinctive, good ideas about that. The difficulty and complexity of how to comfort others involves the differences between people—we respond differently from others in similar circumstances. That’s the nature of personality and individual personhood, a wonderful facet of God’s creation. We as individuals are unique and diverse, yet there are universals. Discomfort is less desirable than comfort. We hurt when loved ones die.

The Command

Therefore comfort one another with these words. (1 Thessalonians 4:18, NAS)

This command is the conclusion of Paul’s informative teaching about the fate of believers who have died before the Resurrection of those “in Christ.” If we look in some detail at this verse, we see a generic approach to comfort the hurting. There is power in the Word of God.

“Therefore” makes us look back at what precedes.

We could not know what Paul tells us in 1 Thessalonians 4:13-17 if he had not told us. This is the nature of direct Revelation. God uncovers or reveals something of Himself or His plan, and now we know. Paul is not conjecturing, he’s telling us how it is, and our response is either faith or not. When God gives us information, we should pay attention. This is the Bible.

“Comfort” is the imperative of one of Paul’s favorite words. PARAKALEO, παρακαλεω means literally “call alongside” in its component parts, and the various uses are related to this etymology. If you need help, you call someone alongside. If you want to help someone, you may call them alongside. In the NAS, PARAKALEO is translated as comfort, exhort, urge, implore, and several other words that involve personal communication. Comfort looks at the word from desired results, while exhort and urge are more about the communication itself. Paul is the author exactly half of the 108 times we find this word in the NT.

“One another” means just what it says in English. This does not mean pastors to their flock, though that is included. This means that anyone in the assembly who has the information should be ready to love anyone else in the assembly who needs the information. To have this work, there has to be a sense of “one-another” within the group.

“With these words” gives us the key ingredient we should bring for those believers who need encouragement. The Word of God is the best medicine for those who need comfort, especially when their loved ones are recently “absent from the body and at home with the Lord (2 Cor 5:8).” Did you ever notice that someone speaks at a funeral? We got the idea from Paul’s command here.

Four Thoughts

1. Nothing will help believers in their real suffering more than the Truth, the real Word of the Living God.
2. Believers are responsible to offer each other this comfort; it is part of our duty in the Family of God.
3. Generally speaking, comfort like this requires context; you must be in someone’s life to have the credibility and standing to offer the encouragement they need.
4. We never need Biblical Wisdom more than when we deal with people.

Passage to Pray

Psalm 77

Memory Verse: 1 Thes 4:13-17

“But we do not want you to be uninformed, brethren, about those who are asleep, so that you will not grieve as do the rest who have no hope. For if we believe that Jesus died and rose again, even so God will bring with Him those who have fallen asleep in Jesus. For this we say to you by the word of the Lord, that we who are alive and remain until the coming of the Lord, will not precede those who have fallen asleep. For the Lord Himself will descend from heaven with a shout, with the voice of the archangel and with the trumpet of God, and the dead in Christ will rise first. Then we who are alive and remain will be caught up together with them in the clouds to meet the Lord in the air, and so we shall always be with the Lord. ” (1 Thessalonians 4:13–17, NAS)